Somehow, working on my invitations is making my upcoming wedding more real. I don't know why this is different than any other sort of planning. Buying my dress last summer was one of the best days of my life, but it still didn't put things into perspective as much as this whole invitation process. I guess once I send those babies out, it's official - it's happening.
And I can't hardly wait. Everyone told me that the time you're engaged goes by super fast and everything is over before you realize it. I suppose I can see that in retrospect, but I feel like I've been engaged forever. Not that it hasn't been an enjoyable time, but I honestly can't wait to be married. I want the wedding to be here. I want to put on the big, white gown, dance, eat cake, and celebrate with close family and friends. I'm ready to be a "Mrs.".
It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but I'm watching The Wedding Planner (you know, Matthew McConnaughey, Jennifer Lopez) which is a movie I must have seen a zillion times when I was in high school. I used to imagine what my wedding would be like, or sometimes cynically, if I would even have a wedding. Yes me, ever the optimist, used to think that it may not be possible for anyone to ever love me - the kind of self-loathing thoughts one has as a teenager. But now it's upon me. I'm actually, really getting married.
All I feel right now is gratitude.
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